What I can say...

If i can choose what i want and what i need,

I wouldn't choose you,

cause you are something which i never planned in my life planning,

or you are not something which i wrote in the wish list which is basically none..

you are just something which is already part of my life..

maybe when you read this,

your heart will shatter,

but that i wouldn't really feel sad about,

cause when your heart does shatter,

i will just be there and tell you with a smile,

that i will try mending it,

even if it couldn't be fix or placed back as what it is,

you can shatter my heart as well,

and with all the shattered pieces of ours,

together we could fix it into one,

that is if you would allow me to do so...

even if you just walk away,

knowing that you would hurt me,

i would just smile and say have a safe journey,

cause i will know that you know i'm always waiting for you,

right here,

the same spot where you left me,

and maybe if you found someone else,

you think that suits you well compare to me,

i wouldn't beg you to stay,

i would just tell you that you made the right choice,

cause maybe if you choose me,

i'll make you cry,

rather than making you smile and embrace the day,

just like the day when i first met you..

Now,

I just don't know what to do,

or to say,

cause i felt an empty space in my heart,

not knowing the reason of its occurrence,

i thought maybe i would be happy if i just stop myself from talking to you,

yet.. i don't really feel it,

and there are times i just wanted to text you,

even knowing that i promise not to do so,

and i'm afraid that you would just hate me for breaking promises,

and i don't ever want you to feel insecure being with me,

that why i choose to avoid all i could avoid,

but my eyes just doesn't seems to do so,

as sometimes i tend to look at you,

hoping that you would notice it,

and sometimes i wanted to just ask you things,

but i end up asking people around you,

and if you would just tell me what's wrong with you, 

i will just abandon the world and run to you,

but it seems to be just an unrealistic thing that never seems to happen..

now i'm just afraid,

afraid of losing you,

even though i know i shouldn't be,

still that's the only thing i could do,

is to wait for an answer,

even knowing that there would never be one...