Day 2 - You

Where are you now,
What are you doing?
Are you in this endless sky?
I realized for the first time
I've lost the things that have filled my heart till now
How much you supported me
How much you made me smile
That I'd lost them was too much to consider
Even though I struggled so desperately to reach out my hand 
and
take them back
Like the wind they slipped through,
looking as though they would reach me,
but did not
My chest was tightened by loneliness and despair
My heart felt like it would break
But your smiling face remained in my memories
Always encouraging me
Let's return to those days once more
I know it will be alright this time
Always smiling at your side
Close by your side
so
Will you smile for me like always?

Day 1- What comes and Doesn't

Isn't it obvious that the mist gotta come no matter how hard i tried to run away..
The feeling of being lost..
the feeling of not being able to feel anything anymore..
The feeling which succumbs after one another..
It just felt so lost..
I i just want to remain there..
i want to be lost in the mist..
To cling onto the things i shouldn't
and now
The hardest things to do now is to keep a smile behind the crying heart..
How i wish i could just let it out..
To cry till my heart whispers with a faint beat..
To just breakdown and never wish to stand up again..
To just scream out loud
till there's never tomorrow to rest upon..
To just grab tight and never let go knowing that it hurts even more..
To just say why don't we give a shot.. maybe we could leave this mist we are in..
But instead..
I found the way out..
Guided you out of the mist..
Told you it's okay to go first..
and don't look back..
Cause i'm just gonna stay in the mist..
And it will stay the same..
No matter what..
Just have a great life ahead..,
That's my sole promise for you..
Cause you might not be the first to be in the mist..
but you will be the last person i ever want to be in this mist..
This very mist that comes and goes...
This very mist that doesn't seems to have logic..
But is trying to be illogical most of the time..
This mist...

Day 2 - What if it's toDAY..

What if it's today but not tomorrow and obviously not yesterday..
Would i still be the one i once proclaimed to be..
or maybe the one whom i never try to be..
It just a simple puzzle mingling left,right,up,down or rather everywhere in the brain,
that very brain which seems to be superior from it's wits but inferior when it comes to you..
All the data, the information.. the leaks.. It's a perfect clinch where your movement were "predictable"
But Everything just falls apart when " Love" interfere with the Brain..
But it's just doesn't stop.. or does it.. at last all the Brain could do is to succumb to it's failure..
and when Everything seems to end.. That's when the beginning starts..
A start which never seems to know when to end or perhaps a start without an ending from the beginning..
and I guess when it starts.. it'll never stop..
and That's when eternal comes to its use....

I can wait for an eternal
And cry for a decade,
but
that doesn't mean I'll ever forget you in a millenium years to come..
As my love for you had been carved,
right at this spot
inside here
on the left side of my chest,
and it will always remain the same for eternity...
till death tore us apart,
I'll always be there..
For you...

Day 1 - A day which never seems to differ from others..

      Have you ever wish or rather whisper from the bottom of your heart that Today is gonna be DIFFERENT from yesterday or any other day.. I did and yet for some reason it doesn't work on me.. I always hope for a more dynamic day rather than a monotonous day.. Everyday just seems like the other day.. I felt so empty.. All that could be done was to work and work and work.. just to stop the pathetic side of mine from thinking non-stop about you.. Why couldn't you just disappear from my thoughts and appear right in front of my barely naked eyes.. but that's just a situation that appears in a dream which will vanish right at the moment when it's time to face the reality..
       All i could say was You are always the motivation i could find to embrace the day and in the same time you are too the disappointment i felt in when effort made by me to see you is just as far as going through your Facebook Profile.. I texted you.. Give you all the hint i could.. and yet.. you never seem to noticed it or you just tend to avoid it... I wanted to ask you.. to confront with the matter.. Yet i lack courage of doing so.. and I am just too afraid.. Really afraid that the response given by you may be the worst or even worst than what i could expect..
        That's why it will always be a day which never seems to differ from others.. Today,Yesterday,Tomorrow.. or any other day.. Without your consent.. or rather acknowledgement.. everyday will be just like today and yesterday.. If.. and ONLY IF you could just tell me what are you thinking.. I'll just tell you what i felt every single day..

What a heart can say (2)...

It's been a while since i blog.. it's been to busy for my fingers to type things out here..
Work is always in it's usual way..BORING!!!..
But nevertheless my brain never stops from Thinking about you..
I thought of moving a step closer to you...
But to what i felt and Realized.. Every time i take a step forward..
You did take a step too.. but Backwards..
It hurts when you did that..
but if we were to discuss on whom to be blame for the situation we are in now..
It's will always be me..
I seriously Admit that I lack courage in Facing you..
And i turn speechless as i Confront you..
as it's not only your beauty that amazed me..
but it's my language.. I don't want the sinful mouth of mine to be the one to pierce into the soothing ears of yours..
All i could do is to helplessly tell myself.. "I don't deserve someone like you"
"You are way better off with someone else"
But for now.. Even if there's no fate that's gonna bring us together..
I just hope that you know that I'm serious and i don't mind you that you doubt me or avoid me..
Cause I just want you to believe That My love for you comes not from the thoughts of you..
But the Hearts that beats for you...