Highway!!!

I used to love going on a high speed chase..
But when i saw you waving by the highway..
I kinda try stopping by the side..
and i thought maybe i should just ask you whether you needed a ride..
But how irony could it really be..
Before i even got the chance to ask..
I was hit from the back..
Simultaneously the pain receptor's info gushed up to my pain..
Leading to a pain which no words could describe..
in the end.. you just watch and pretend as this incident never occur..
That's what made me to go with the safe side of the road..
Never again shall i try for a high speed chase..

Is it as easy As.. "A","B"ack,"C"hange"(A,B,C)

It's always easy to utter the word Change..
and there's no doubt in writing the word..
but to just execute the meaning of the word..
That's just not that easy..
Too just think about the possibilities that may offer in return..
There's too many..
and yet too scary in the same time..
But the truth was..
without even noticing..
I was already different from whom i used to be..
And now.. It's hard to just change back..
To be once whom i was..
a guy which ask for nothing in return..
to be known that he's just a guy..
which utter lesser words..
which doesn't really wants to be nosy in stuff..
Which only ask for one true friend..
That's too simple to be asked..
or rather.. too simple to turn things complicated..
As how the present he lived in now..
Is it....

本当に友人？？

Friends,
Is it was I hoped for,
or is it what you desired,
You chose to open that door,
the door to our friendship,
Yet i'm afraid of entering it,
though I gained access to every room in your heart,
there's still one room,
that room which you locked it away from me,
afraid that my presence in the room,
afraid of the destruction of what we hold upon all this while,
I tried reasoning,
I tried reaching you,
yet,
you remain silence,
not wanting anything to be answered,
leaving me in questions,
questioning myself,
whether should just accept your motives
or should i risk our friendship,
that thin fine transparent glass,
resembling our friendship,
so thin that even a molecular friction could shatter it..
and at the End..
All i did was to walk away..
leaving that thin glass there..
Knowing right from the very beginning..
You never wanted it to shatter at all..

I guessed so!!

Being Alone sometimes doesn't really felt like what a lone man would..
Seeing couples being together.. doesn't really makes me want to get together with someone..
All i could come out with is..
He's lucky..
Or maybe he does what he needs to and gets what he wants too..
If life is liking choosing between two options..
What's life is gonna speak of..
We may fall.. but one day we just gotta stand up..
No one's gonna pity any guy that falls but doesn't wanna stand up..
All they ever do is to stare and walk away..
Cause you never revolve around them..
as you chose to stick with the center of the point..
Seeking for attention..
Wanting to be heard of..
End ups with nothing but a speck of dusty situations..

For all that had done and happen..
It just a bad dream to begin with..
and the reality to face in the end of it...

A Letter from the Past!!!

If i can choose what i want and what i need,
I wouldn't choose you,
cause you are something which i never planned in my life planning,
or you are not something which i wrote in the wish list which is basically none..
you are just something which is already part of my life..
maybe when you read this,
your heart will shatter,
but that i wouldn't really feel sad about,
cause when your heart does shatter,
i will just be there and tell you with a smile,
that i will try mending it,
even if it couldn't be fix or placed back as what it is,
you can shatter my heart as well,
and with all the shattered pieces of ours,
together we could fix it into one,
that is if you would allow me to do so...
even if you just walk away,
knowing that you would hurt me,
i would just smile and say have a safe journey,
cause i will know that you know i'm always waiting for you,
right here,
the same spot where you left me,
and maybe if you found someone else,
you think that suits you well compare to me,
i wouldn't beg you to stay,
i would just tell you that you made the right choice,
cause maybe if you choose me,
i'll make you cry,
rather than making you smile and embrace the day,
just like the day when i first met you..
Now,
I just don't know what to do,
or to say,
cause i felt an empty space in my heart,
not knowing the reason of its occurrence,
i thought maybe i would be happy if i just stop myself from talking to you,
yet.. i don't really feel it,
and there are times i just wanted to text you,
even knowing that i promise not to do so,
and i'm afraid that you would just hate me for breaking promises,
and i don't ever want you to feel insecure being with me,
that why i choose to avoid all i could avoid,
but my eyes just doesn't seems to do so,
as sometimes i tend to look at you,
hoping that you would notice it,
and sometimes i wanted to just ask you things,
but i end up asking people around you,
and if you would just tell me what's wrong with you, 
i will just abandon the world and run to you,
but it seems to be just an unrealistic thing that never seems to happen..
now i'm just afraid,
afraid of losing you,
even though i know i shouldn't be,
still that's the only thing i could do,
is to wait for an answer,
even knowing that there would never be one...

Who's Will

If everyone is meant to be brave all the time..
Who's ever gonna understand what sadness really spoke of..
Who's gonna grieve for the lost of someone precious..
Who's gonna shed tears for the one they care most..
For all that had been done and unreversible at all...
Time past yet things seems to never past..
Will one ever learn about the limits on trampling others feeling..
Will one ever know what sadness really means..
Will anyone ever knows that no man in this world is born to be cheerful all the time..
I may not had been a wise man..
But that doesn't mean I was a fool to begin with..
Sometimes I may have been cheerful in a way
just like the flowing river..
It looks peaceful from far..
yet in near ranged view..
It's raging current never fail to fail others expectation..
To be or not to be..
Is never a result nor a question to begin with.. .
It's just a Resolution to be done with..

A mask that spoke of...

Being bad isn't that bad..
Being good doesn't really feel good...
Yet wearing a Mask seems to made me lonely..
Knowing the fact that sometimes it's hard to just be oneself..
Instead of going through the hard way..
I chose to just continue wearing the mask...
Perhaps it deceives some people..
and in a way in deceives me in believing that it's ok hiding one's trueself  deep inside the heart..
It's that worn out..
and yet i'm still wearing onto it.. knowing that it's gonna wear out..
I cling onto it..
Realizing that only you know the ugliness in me..
I waived upon your departure...
knowing that you've gone somewhere far for me to reach upon..
so far that i lost the sight of your visible face..
And all i could say was I'm Here again..
Alone...

One!!

If it's you....
Can you tell my why It isn't me..
Did everlasting seems to last..
or Did you realize that the reality was you..
And was I the one mocking about Fairy Tales..
hoping that it was really a Fairy Tale to be told of..
and now..
Here i am..
Telling you that It's the Last Chapter..
A Tale which ends as None..
Starts as One..

Will you???

What if You were the one whom carries a broken heart..

Will you feel what i felt when you did that to me..

Will you ever think back about the words you utter upon me..

Will you wish that you could take back those words..

What if You knew that i known what you are gonna say when i tried to flap my wings to grab a chance to just tell you a simple three words..

Will you still sliced the wings i gathered upon facing you and watch as i crashed harshly on the ground..

And Knowing that it's gonna happen this way..

Would you even wanna alter this uneventful incident..

Perhaps not..

Cause if you do..

Would i still be here telling a story..

A story which never fails to end with a broken heart..