Is it the right choice..

I really don't know what I'm doing anymore... Why am I choosing the same path.. knowing that all it leads is the sadness that I once experienced.. why am I still making this choice.. I really tried asking my heart.. why.. I could never be sure that she's the one that I've been hoping for.. nor can I say its just another fluke situation of my own confusion.. I really wanted to treat her nice, talk to her, get to really know her more than what I could see with my naked eyes.. but everytime I tried, I just felt scared, deep inside me was like having the fear of making her feel annoyed, leading to her avoiding me... And when I see this guy talking to her.. tapping her head, I felt a disturbance iny heart.. I felt sad in the same time envious.. but most of all.. I saw the both of them like they were meant for each other.. he's a nice guy, better than me in many ways.. so good that all I could think was she deserve a better guy than me.If I continued to do those stuff.. one day she might even hate me.. more than I could ever hate myself.. so as I started to quietly observe how he behaves, my suspicion that he likes her is getting stronger and stronger... It was like I have already lost the battle even without trying to fight.. That feeling was really hard to explain in words.. it was like I was happy that someone is treating her for what she deserved to be.. and in the same time I was devastated that I'm the end it comes to the same conclusion... What was I thinking.. from the start I didn't even stand I chance at all.. why did I walk out from the wall I built tall so hard.. did I really hope that I could broaden my horizon.. or I was just being naive from the very start till now.. Even though her friend said that the guy wasn't her type... I believe that if one is sincere, nothing matter at all.. you accept him/her for who they really are.. and even when her friend ask if she goes for me, will I consider it or not, deep inside me I wanted to just say really, she likes me.. then I just should had gone for her instead of her making the move.. but in the end, all I did was denied and said no way she will like me ,Just look at me.. I'm nothing and I have nothing.. he's better than me in many ways.. It hurts saying that.. but its okay.. she deserve someone which canake her smile instead of making her smile hiding a sad face behind it.. Just Deep inside me I wish I could be the one make her the happiest girl in the world.. but in reality, I just can't..

IT'S OKAY, LET IT BE, IT'S FOR THE BEST....