Truth that i could sit and write about..

I'm seriously feeling like shyt..
studying doesn't really make me feel busy and kept me from thinking..
every 30 minutes.. a break would just mean time for me to start questioning myself..
did i seriously consider to just sulk and conclude that's it's all over..
I tried to..
still i didn't really know why i decided not too go on with the idea..
flashing back through the hundreds of text from you in the past February till the end of March,
ANd comparing it with now..
it seems like i got the answer from you..
maybe you just felt annoyed now..
or it's just studies you were concentrating now..
still..
i can't really just budge in and cause commotion in your life...
sign were visible,
but emotions are unnoticeable..
so now i can't text you or call you,...
but if you were to read this..
It's been the truth all this while..


"To talk about the love life i gone through, you were the only one that knows all..
but i didn't tell you one thing..
which is i did fall for you since Form 3.. and i was uncertain at first.. as you encourage me to go for her..
and if i would just given a chance to turn back time.. i would definitely go for you..
To say that you were the first.. you know i'm lying.. but i wished you want to be my only one
but i guess i'm just not suited for you anyway..
I know you read many things about her past and you thought i was related with it..
still i'm here to tell you.. I only wanna get related to you..
The world and my friends can ignore my love for you..
But if you were to join their league..
I guess tears really could cry a river out and drown my heart..
and I know that he still likes you and i don't know how you felt about it..
But i can't be a jerk to stop you from talking to him.. and be jealous about it..
If you think he's the one.. then i'm okay with it.. as long as you are happy..
But time will still flow...
and i will always wait..
But if i'm categorize in the same league as the human which disturb you previously..
then i guess it's been one sided all this while..
just know that it's been you all the time..
and if you still doubt it..
then shoot it to the ground.."