My FIRST ACADEMIC Achievement in 21 years..

After studying for like years.. this is my very first time to go on stage and receive a cert for my hardwork on my academic achievement.. it felt different.. I always thought that those whom got those award are just going for the paper.. but today.. this feeling was awesome.. I get to know seniors which tell me about their experience.. their journey at UMS.. It felt like i'm gonna make a journey of my own.. So i';ll study even harder.. my target is to try to collect 6 pieces of this for the whole 3 years of studying..

Look at me.. DO I GIVE A SHIT!!!

Does Numbers really mean so much to people..
Does it show how good one is in life..
Does it even leads to you thinking that i'm just a smart guy hiding my true colours..
IT DOES NOT TO ME!!!!

So what if I got great pointer for my examination...
I get it with my hard work and the effort I put is not even a litre lesser than how much others did..
But why does people like to compare my pointer with theirs..
It sick and tiring.. and worst of all you are comparing with me whom for the past 5 years no one bother to really know what I achieved in my examination..
That show's the real KIA SU people got in their heart..
I dont mind getting worst result for this semester.. but still
I want everyone to know that..
The day I start studying and work hard for a better future..
I did it not to show everyone I can..
I did it to tell myself that THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE...
My last door which leads to a better future..
and GUESS WHAT!!!
I DON'T PLAN TO DESTROY MY FUTURE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF TELLING YOU PEOPLE THAT YOU ALL TOO CAN GET THAT STUPID HIGH POINTER...

p.s :
I'm starting all my revision and updating my notes cause I WANT TO BE KIA SU!!!! MY WISH!!! FOF.MB.. in other words.. FUCK OFF FROM MY BUSINESS!!!!

Thoughts

It tiring sometimes being someone which never in my life I thought I would be..
So what getting a result so many people wanted to achieve..

All I want is a result which satisfy my hard work and all the tears in my heart..
And I studied not because I wanted to get good result..
I'm studying late nights just so I'm tired enough that I don't think much about you..
I'm trying my best to make up for what I abandon just to give more attention to you..
So don't judge me for whom I now..
Cause you don't know the me 4 years back...

1 year...

Time Passes like how the river flows endlessly..
It's almost a year.. or rather 8 more days to go..
The day I took my Result for STPM..
and the day you decided that I was just another guy you known..
A year passed since you turned me down..
I was sad, frustrated, set backed and most of all I lost the purpose of achieving something in Life..
You were the reason why I studied and worked hard for a better result,
But the answer you gave just made the Examination slip I took looked nothing but merely a piece of paper filled with blacked printing words..
It's true the days without any purpose was suffering..
But at least you show me that I was really just another guy which a million of even trillions of other guys outstands me..
but now a year had past and I'm still single..
But for sure i had moved on after some times..
And I wasn't expecting anything more from you any longer..
What I gained and learn over the past 1 years was..
I gained true friendship..
I learned that times does heals a broken heart..
and I found out that I was actually into studying and TOMOMI!!!
Life again serve me a purpose of living..
that's why time really changes everything.. including what's in the heart..

Was trying ever enough!!!

During those young age moments.. the naive thought that came across my mind was,
1. To be successful one must always study,
2. As long as you put something into your hearts things will bend according to your way..
3. Loving someone with all you got and showing it will eventually called as true love..
4. Flirting is bad for health and self esteem..
5. Doing homework makes someone smart as people will come to you to copy..
.........................................................
But as time pass.. I realize these are nonsense..
Cause to be successful.. you don't need to study.. all you need is time and chance..
No matter how much you put an effort into something things just don't come along you.. that's why it's call challenging..
True love doesn't mean you love someone so much and they will love you.. It's pure nonsense.. All we need is the right time which give the right click to the right moment..
Flirting is sometimes good.. cause it helps to think creative and learn to be more sociable..
Doing homework makes me look dumb as all will just take mine and copy.... might as well just copy people's...
That's what i call facts of life..
there are Times we need to think.. but most of the time thinking just complicates things..

Your Satisfaction or MINE!!!

I was once naive thinking that i could satisfy everyone's need.
Yet during form 6 I realize that this is but a fool's job to be done with,
and yet there's still a desire in me to help others..
Till that day when he told me this
"Do you think you are happy satisfying everyone's need while neglecting yours"
"Do you think that they will appreciate what you had done for them"
"You should be grateful that your help does not turn out to be an sore eye to them"
"Think about it.. did you really feel happy helping out"
"or most of the times you just think that you are but a burden to them"
"You are brought down to earth not to write story line of how other live"
"You are the writer of your own life"
Till today I remember those words..
It was meaningful.. yet painful in the same time..
As time pass I could say I live for myself for the first time..
Till I enter University...
Things were different..
There were many lost souls..
This happen around their surrounding is like a new thing to tackle with..
Yet for me it's like the old same scenes during form 6..
And once again I tried helping.. But it end up with me being helpless..
So still I chose to go with this..
I Live not to Satisfy your needs..
But mine..
As I'm the writer of my life and I decide how things goes on..
And sadly i got to tell you that You were just a side character in my write up..
No matter how things goes.. Band 6 will always be in the story..
As without them..
What would I be today..
Thanks for showing me to whats reality and
for giving me something I never thought of getting in this lifespan...

6th of December...

What today bring forth is another's days past..
everyday we are creating another page to enter our diary of the past..

My diary had been so interesting that  3 days and 3 nights of talking about it wont get it done..

So instead of looking back to the past..

I decided to look forward to another mysterious day which is the 7th..

Uni life may be hectic in a way with assignments and finals to prepare..

Yet no matter how hectic it is... 

there's always time to lean back and think about what could happen tomorrow..

yet.. It is strange that sometimes things dont go my way..

Or rather there's aways a turbulence suddenly without any notification..

it is past 1 in the afternoon..

And it will start to be hectic again later till night..

I seek not for the will to stay alive..

but the will to encounter whats coming soon..

p.s. -*Protect her and if there's a need to reverse the karma.. pls do so on me