EXAM-IN-ASIAN (EXAMINATION)

Today was such an awful day,
I barely able to breath,
P.A was like a stranger to me,
for the very first time,
i couldn't CRAP any shits into my essay,
and i was just looking at the front the whole day..
just being to look at the back of hers (Many womans i guess),
but not able to look at the face..
just to see whether she's doing fine with the paper,
and not to forget.. i barely get to see her for like year ( only 1 week and 2 days approximate)
How i wished my name wasn't jumbled up in the last few alphabetical order..
i would at least get to sit somewhere front,
where i could just look at the right hand side,
just when i lost grip of the idea i wanted to compress in the stupid text pad,
thats is just a mere fantasy,
just once is enough,
just how i wished i could lay my head on the table with my arms as the soft cushion,
and look at her just when the whole world feels like crumbling apart,
at see her facial expression changes everytime she encounters difficulty and everytime she got the answer she needed,
that's just the perfect and wonderful moment i could ever imagine,
just by looking,
time passes so fast,
as though exams are like the only way i could look at her without her noticing..
but too bad,
i'm sitting at the last row and i could only see the back,
and watch the surrounding chance,
when people started to break down and give up,
and people scribbling as though the world is gonna end..
and not to forget people sleeping,
just like how it used to be..
and that made me wonder,
why am i doing those stuff when i got a paper to finish,
but what to do..
that's life..
you can't expect to finish a paper which you only got to see for the first time,
and it's also the last time you are gonna look at it,
once the time ends,
goodbye is the only thing i could say to the papers..
so all i could say is FREEDOM for a week..
and STUDY for the last month..
muahahahaahahahaha...

What I can say...

If i can choose what i want and what i need,

I wouldn't choose you,

cause you are something which i never planned in my life planning,

or you are not something which i wrote in the wish list which is basically none..

you are just something which is already part of my life..

maybe when you read this,

your heart will shatter,

but that i wouldn't really feel sad about,

cause when your heart does shatter,

i will just be there and tell you with a smile,

that i will try mending it,

even if it couldn't be fix or placed back as what it is,

you can shatter my heart as well,

and with all the shattered pieces of ours,

together we could fix it into one,

that is if you would allow me to do so...

even if you just walk away,

knowing that you would hurt me,

i would just smile and say have a safe journey,

cause i will know that you know i'm always waiting for you,

right here,

the same spot where you left me,

and maybe if you found someone else,

you think that suits you well compare to me,

i wouldn't beg you to stay,

i would just tell you that you made the right choice,

cause maybe if you choose me,

i'll make you cry,

rather than making you smile and embrace the day,

just like the day when i first met you..

Now,

I just don't know what to do,

or to say,

cause i felt an empty space in my heart,

not knowing the reason of its occurrence,

i thought maybe i would be happy if i just stop myself from talking to you,

yet.. i don't really feel it,

and there are times i just wanted to text you,

even knowing that i promise not to do so,

and i'm afraid that you would just hate me for breaking promises,

and i don't ever want you to feel insecure being with me,

that why i choose to avoid all i could avoid,

but my eyes just doesn't seems to do so,

as sometimes i tend to look at you,

hoping that you would notice it,

and sometimes i wanted to just ask you things,

but i end up asking people around you,

and if you would just tell me what's wrong with you, 

i will just abandon the world and run to you,

but it seems to be just an unrealistic thing that never seems to happen..

now i'm just afraid,

afraid of losing you,

even though i know i shouldn't be,

still that's the only thing i could do,

is to wait for an answer,

even knowing that there would never be one...

Random 3!!!

There are times i wanna cry,
but is there a quiet place to let it all out,
There are times when i was hurt badly,
but did anything help to ease the pain i felt,
There are times i lied,
but did anyone bother to know about the truth,
There are times i kept quiet,
but did anyone notice that occurrence,
There are times when everything just seems so wrong,
but what was right in the first place,
________________________________________


I lose so many things that i lost track of its increasing count,
yet,
every time i lose something,
it's either i gain something of nothing,
but 
now... everything just seems to be worth losing,
as i gained not what i desired or wished for,
I gained what every humans need in life,
I gained a bunch of friends,
which i know that they are the one,
that would screw me if i'm wrong and tell me what to do,
and they are the one,
which put trust into the friendship we all shared,
i thought that it was the only thing i could ever get..
yet i was wrong,
it was far from what i can really conclude at first,
now,
they are like the gift from heaven,
which i believed that,
god doesn't abandon us alone in this world,
till the day we thinks that he already did...

Random 2!!!

In my life,
there are many things i want to do,
but there are things i cant do,
I once chosen to avoid those things,
but my feeling can never runaway,
just like that,
People may see that i am a man with something,
but the truth was,
I was really nothing,
I thought that to watch from a distance is just what i need,
but as i could see now,
watching you from a distance hurts more than being near with you,
As for now,
I know what my feeling are telling me,
but I cant just go according to my feelings,
Cause to love you,
the sacrifice is just too big,
Even if i get to love you,
i will end up losing you..

Random!!!

Letters are created,

so that words could be formed,

and sentences could be written,

so that feeling could be express,

in many stories which could be shared widely..

yet,

letters which i jumble,

into words,

and sentences made from those words,

to show the feelings i try to express,

with various story published,

never seems to catch your attention,

or to enlighten you.

Many read it repeatedly.

yet no one could decipher it,

cause only you could,

cause it's always about you..

still never wanting to give a chance,

to me or even to give yourself a chance,

to know what i really felt...

All i hope was to you to know it and tell me that you read it..

it's just as simple as anyone could reason with..

and even if you still reluctant to do so..

all i could do is to post more..

and wait..

for if a day could pass in the blink of an eye,

what's hundred days gonna do to me,

or even a decade..

it's will just proof that..

To love someone..

time isn't the barrier,

nor ties and differences are...

As long as both of us know that,

we have the similarities,

which we both have a heart,

to show and to accept,

the feelings,

which was given and to be given..

-mat-

Real Live Lying comedy situation

Ok.. let's start with this.. it's a superb amazing lie which my friend Friend "Y' told to my other friend which is also "Y" 's friend Friend "J"...

This happened a few months back.. i think it's around April to June... one fantastic day at the school.. or more precise after the super long and somehow boring 6 hours of schooling.. this is what happened at the school canteen at around 1.20 p.m... Me, "J" , and " Y " were talking about random stuff and suddenly " J " was saying that he/she doesn't really know about "Y" 's family background.... so without hesitation "Y" started saying that he/she has an older brother which is supposing to be super handsome and is working in Melaka that particular time.. and in the same time "Y" told that he/she also had an older sister which is beautiful in many ways.. so to my knowledge or more like data collected from "Y" after being friends with her for so long, i know that "Y" was telling "J" a lie and i expect "J" to not believe what "Y" told.. but to be amazed "J" was convinced to believe the lie as "Y" 's younger sister came and join the lying process... so this lie was brought alive by "Y" and For goodness sake "J" seriously never suspect anything...


Till... that very day where "J" was talking on the phone with Friend "S" and they were talking about "Y" sister's being sick and plan to make a visit to "Y" house.. and the best part was none of them knew "Y" 's House address.. so "J" told "S" to ask "Y" 's elder brother or sister.. and that was WHEN "S" STARTED TO LAUGH NONE STOP AS SHE FIGURED OUT THAT POOR "J" WAS TRICKED BY "Y" AND "J" FOUND OUT THAT HE LIVED WITH THE LIE FOR FEW MONTHS... SO THAT'S WHEN "J" , "S" ,FRIEND "E" AND ME DECIDED TO VISIT "Y" ALTHOUGH ALL OF US WERE LOST WHILE SEARCHING FOR "Y" HOUSE.. AND WHEN WE REACHED "Y" HOUSE "Y" WAS TAKEN ABACK WHEN "Y" EYE'S SAW A PIG IN FRONT OF "Y" HOUSE... AND THAT'S WHEN "J" STARTED ASKING ABOUT THE WHEREABOUT OF "Y" BROTHER AND SISTER.. AND ME AND "S" WAS TRYING TO CONTROL OURSELF FROM LAUGHING AS "Y" DIDN'T KNOW THAT "J" FOUND OUT ABOUT THE LIE.. AND "Y" WAS STILL DELIBERATELY CONTINUING THE LIE COMEDY WITH "J" AND I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE AND DECIDED TO TELL "Y" ABOUT IT.. AND THE WHOLE SITUATION WHEN LIKE POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THis are my friends...

MAny may had friends which differ from each other with different personality yet unique ones which made us bond as one, so this are all my unique friends which every chapter of my life, there were they to fill the empty pages of each and every chapter.. 
As you can see.. my friends maybe the same friends you have, but for me.. they aren't just friends which other define as.. they are like ohana's to me.. without them.. i wouldn't be here blogging stuff.. they are just what a guy like me need to take a step further.. and look backwards if any of them are still at the back.. that's what's friends for.. we dont look the back of them or turn around to look at them.. As friends we walk along side by side.. ensuring that each of us are they as we look left or right... making a path to an undefined future waiting ahead of us.. We may not know how it will goes and comes.. but for me, with them around.. it would be a fun one to strife through... 
Ok cut the craps.. some may not know them.. so i shall give a small intro of the characters that revolve in my life,
we start from the left..
the first fellow,
-Zhi Cong a.k.a peter chao
~he's an awesome guy with both brains and sports..
~he's gonna be the next peter chao

next to him is
-Wei Teng
~ a Superb and ideal partner is you guys are searching, yet she's is my awesome friend.. jealous right...
~ so called Miss Teaser... thank's to the factor of booming ppl and teasing them..

the first girl standing is
-Sarah ( Mei Ler )
~she's like our laughing gas..
~her laugh makes us laugh too.. a great friends which know's how to be serious when she really needs to be
~the girl which trust all of us.. even if we guys sometimes trick her..

beside her is
-Lay Yin
~I cant say much about her..but what we all know.. she's like a good girl in the outside and in the inside with different elements like hmmm... wild and likes to shout..

next to her is..
OBVIOUSLY ME...
I cant comment on myself.. it's up to ppl to comment... your comments are what i am in the reality..

and guy which you only saw his face on the table,
-Yogendra
~that's his name.. a guy which likes or tries to flirt with girls and someone which always says that he never studied at all while holding his book in front of us...
~A great person to be with... funny when he tries to crack some joke (lame's one).. and funny when we all tease him,
~ and his's the 18 years old boy!!!

And the Macha sitting in the middle with the spain jersey,
-Selva a.k.a Naga...
~ a bro that you never imagine what's his next move is, still his one of the funny guys..
~great in both foot and basket balls..
~a guy which never lie's except teasing ppl or more to tricking ppl..

and the CHinese fellow beside him
-Lee Kiong
~ someone which you could just stare at his face and that's all he needs to make you laugh..
~a person which is older than all of us.. wise and yet like typical chinese..hahaha
~but someone with leadership.. like to control us..

now i can start from the right...
The first guy there
-Shaun
~the coolest macha among us..
~the guy which love is one of his major career,
~the guy which bond all of us together as one..
~conclusion... a super awesome person..

Next
-Loges
~so called mr panjang,
~a joker which makes us laugh even if it's lame something
~a guy which is the smartest person in the whole upper six batch 2010,
~a guy which like chinese girls..


Beside him is This Awesome musician..
-Edmund
~ a person which know's how to play any kind of intrument,
~a great guy which i like the way he laugh
~a person which never disappoint all of us no matter how much we demand from him..


and next to him
-Joannes..
~the fellow which i get to know last year..he's in the same class with me
~someone which you can tell any secrets.. cause he always forget it the next day,
~someone which is good at football.. eventhough his physical appearance is PROSPEROUS..


Lastly
-Zhi Siong
~ a great guy which have nice muscular body. even though he had gained a little weight,
~a person which never utter's any English international vulgar word till that day he got pissed with someone
~a person which is definately good in basketball


This is my awesome friends which carved so many scars in my heart so that i wouldn't be able to forget them or to leave them... MY FRIENDS = OHANA